CARTMAN GOD DAMMIT TRIAL

Police officers are right behind him but as with any chase, they're keeping a safe distance to avoid any accidents here out on the highway.

Tom, it looks like the Go-Go Action Bronco is heading east on 285.

Well, come on! I don't have much time! ДЄ car chase is evolving on the 285 corridor east of South Park! Hate-crime suspect Eric Cartman is trying to outrun federal prosecutors in his friend's Go-Go Action Bronco! Our Eye in the Sky Greg Nimins is there live. (Mexico?! Why the heck do I have to take you all the way to Mexico?!)Дo you still have that battery-powered toy truck you got last Christmas?! They're gonna put me in jail for a hate crime! You have to take me to Mexico! Kenny! Kenny, you have to get me out of town! Cartman rushes up to it and pounds on the front door. Woohoo! Hooray!Д«ailiffs, escort this little bastard to Juvenile Hall.ДЄlright, you!. I am making an example of you, to send a message out to people everywhere: that if you want to hurt another human being, you'd better make damn sure they're the same color as you are! Court is adjourned! For this, I hereby sentence you to the Alamosa Juvenile Hall, until you turn twenty-one. A verdict has been reached, and the Judge announces it.Д®ric Cartman, you have been found guilty of committing a hate crime. We gotta get Cartman out of court so we can go practice. Don't forget: we still have that sledding race this Saturday, pillow biters. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this is why we have hate-crime laws! This 'monster' committed a crime-not against an individual, but against a race! Do the democratic thing and send his fat little butt to prison! I hate hippies! I mean, the way they always talk about 'protectin' the earth' and then drive around in cars that get poor gas mileage and wear those stupid bracelets - I hate 'em! I wanna kick 'em in the nuts!

The rage built and built inside your head until it became too much because you hate African-Americans!! O! He said it again! He is African-American, and so you decided to pick him out! Black?! Did you say black?! You called him black?! Cartman, do you know a boy by the name of 'Tolkien?' What turns a normal, fat little eight-year-old boy into a vicious, hate-crime-committing racist? We take you live to the courtroom as the defendant takes the stand.

CARTMAN GOD DAMMIT TRIAL

The hate crime trial of the century is underway on Court TV tracks U van. The letters fly into place over blind Justice holding the scales Your son will be taken into custody and then tried in the federal court of law. New laws have been passed that make any crime based on race, ethnicity, or sexual orientation a federal offense. You see, since the victim in this case is African-American, this is considered a hate crime. I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated than that, Mr. m'kay, uh, I've already taken care of it Eric Cartman here is gonna be punished with two weeks of detention. We're here to investigate the rock-throwing incident. Yes way! M'kay, and that settles it! Now, let's all go. Not this time, Eric! You've got to learn to respect your little friends! You're gonna have detention for two weeks! What was I thinking? The only thing I can do now. Well, I hope you learned that throwing rocks at people is bad, Eric. Tolkien's right arm is in a sling and his right eye is blackenedДЄnd what you need to understand is that this is not appropriate behavior, young man! M'kay?Д®ric, don't you realize you could've seriously injured your little friend? Tolkien, I swear to God, if you call me fat one more time I'm gonna smack you on the head with this rock! Yeah! And with Cartman's enormously fat ass, the boys are sure to win! Those girls don't realize what good sledders Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are. Oo-oo-why, us men will show those skanky hos who's who! See you there! And may the best woman win, turd burglars! Phil Collins Hill on Saturday! You got it! Then we'll see you this Saturday on Phil Collins Hill! Your best four sledders against our best four sledders! How about a race down a real hill, then?! I bet we can sled ten times better than you, doughnut punchers! These are the school's sleds, ass rammers, not yours! Yeah! Why don't you chicks go wash some dishes or get pregnant or something?! We want to use the sleds now, butt pirates! That's not fair! Cartman's ass is so fat he makes your sled go faster! It rests on Butters holding a starting flag. The camera pans to the right, showing kids on the hobby elephants, the swings, and the jungle gym. South Park Elementary, Monday during the day. The official script for ' Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000' was released by South Park Studios. ' Cartman's Silly Hate Crime 2000/Script'

Cartman god dammit